DO YOU EVER???

Do you ever...Stop and think about your life?...Stop and take in the things around you?...Situations?..Feelings?...People?...Music?...Do you ever... wish that you could go back??...To a certain time?...A certain place?...Just to feel the way you did at that moment?...Do you ever... wish that you could be someone else?...Or wish that you could be the person you want to be?...Do you ever... want to do something crazy?...Like jump off a bridge?...Or dance INFRONT of people instead of all alone in your room?.....Do you ever...wish you could say exactly what you want to say and not get made fun of for it?...Do you ever...want to be really good at something?...Like painting?...Or photography?...Or writing?...Or sports?...Or life?...DO YOU EVER??....Cause DO I EVER!!!

Adequate Or Not?

Am I inadequate?...Am I lacking the ability to fulfill a need or meet a requirement?...Am I insufficient?....Those are the questions that have come to my mind today...I am almost 20 years old .....(I know that's not very old).....But I feel like I have done absolutely nothing with my life...And why is that?...Is it because I lack strength?....Courage?...Am I too shy?....Did I just not ever care enough to do something?...Or am I inadequate?.....

I feel like no matter what the LORD throws at me I can never do what I'm suppose too...Like I keep letting Him down....It seems as though I am inadequate to fulfill the plans He has for me...But I don't want the realization of my inadequacy to get in my way....I want to be adequate...I want to be able to do all the LORD has for me....Now how do I go about being adequate?...Do I push on telling myself that I am adequate even when I don't feel as though I am?...Would that be lying to myself?....Or do I make myself adequate?...By seeking His face?....By falling on my knees before Him?...Is there a way to become adequate for the LORD?...Or does He only put things in your path that He knows you can handle?.....I used to think that's how it went...Now I'm not so sure...Now that I have failed Him so many times I do not feel as though I have the strength He knows I have....Is this where I need to lean on Him and make Him my strength?...Is this the part where I need to allow Him to take control?...

My Adequacy....or lack of....Has filled my mind today.....

OH LORD make me Adequate!!!!

Bye Bye School???

Im not exactly sure what to do....I moved to Peace River...With no plans....I didn't have a job lined up or anything...I just moved...And now...Im stuck...I can't seem to find a job....And by the time I do there won't be enough time to make money to go to school....I don't know if Im going to be able to get a loan or not...And so it seems that school may have to be put off....And that makes me sad....Depressed....Stressed...And very angry....I WANT school...I NEED school....But I feel like it is being taken from me and there is nothing I can do about it....So YUP!!!.....Im lost....
LORD help me!