A New Hope

It's amazing how every time something new happens in my life I'm filled with hope.....Hope for the future...Hope for my life....Hope for my relationship with the LORD....It seems however that mistakes always come crashing down upon me and the hope that I held so close disappears....I need that hope to survive......I need it to help me keep pushing on....And so after mistakes consume my life, I am forced to make choices....Choices that will affect my life....Choices that will decided, for me, if I have hope or not....When I decided to move to High Level I was filled with hope....Hope that I could make a difference...Hope that I could grow more in the LORD....Then as my life goes...Mistakes came my way...And it was those mistakes that burnt every last bit of hope I had in me....So...I moved from High Level to another small town called Peace River....Now I am filled with hope again....Hope that I can live here for two months and be the same person I was at Bible College....I lost who I was when I moved to High Level and I hope that being here...In Peace River...I will find myself again.....That is my new hope....

YUP!

6:27 a.m my alarm clock turned on and I was woke up by the sound of the local country radio station. I opened my eyes and realized what day it was. I put my head in my hands and let out a frustrated slash scared growl. It took me a few minutes to force myself out of bed because as much as I have been waiting for this day I wasn't ready for it. I got myself ready and prepared for what I was about to face and my Pa and I headed out the door to town. I drove around for an hour, washed the van and cleaned it out a bit. 9:27 rolled around and I realized I didn't have any break lights on the van. I got upset and scared that I wouldn't be able to take my drivers test. I drove to where I was going to take my road test and I went in to meet my driving instructor. I was expecting some creepy old man who was really nasal when he spoke. But instead infront of me stood a 6 foot man with a goatee and a really strong hand shake. He was the most intimidating guy I have ever spoke to. However when I got in the vehicle with him and started to drive, it was like I had known him for a while. I spoke nervously at first because the first thing he made me do was parallel park and I suck at parallel parking but after I got that over the rest of the test went great. When it was over with he wouldn't tell me if I passed and so I asked him and he said yes. I said good, like it wasn't a big deal, like I wasn't waiting all year for him to say that one word, I played it cool. But after I got my picture taken and I walked out of that place I jumped so high with my arms in the air. I was pretty excited. So YUP!....I TOALLY got my drivers license today!

Postscript: Totally is spelt wrong for Rachels benefit :)

Learn about the LORD by driving

The anticipation for my drivers test tomorrow is next to unbearable... The fear of failing consumes my mind but then the fear dissipates and the joy of the independence I will obtain by passing this test tomorrow excites me to no end…So mixed emotions are all I am right now…I just want it over with and yet I don’t want to go at all…I want to pass it and yet if I fail I know it shall only make me stronger…I desire to be stronger…I desire to be bold…and yet it is in my fear and my lack of courage that I inspire myself to fall face down before my LORD crying out to Him to be my strength…For it is in my weakness when I learn the LORD’S faithfulness and ability to hold me in His arms…

So I’m off to calm my nerves and attempt to pass my drivers test tomorrow.

Waiting upon the LORD

I was on my way home last night…driving into the sunset… sitting in the passenger seat of my cousins jeep…with the smell of watermelon gum and berry patch car freshener… and the taste of starburst in my mouth and all I could think of was the sick feeling that was going to fill my stomach as soon as I drove into High Level...I prayed the whole way home last night…not knowing what would face me when I got here…Not knowing how waking up this morning was going to make me feel…I prayed that God would tell me what to do with my summer…That He would guide me to where He wants me to be…
I woke up this morning…still lost as to what I am supposed to do…yet still striving to hear the LORD’S voice…I want more than anything to do what the LORD wants from me…and so this is me…waiting on the LORD...